Today I went hiking in Panther Town for Basecamp and it was really relaxing and fun. We hiked about five miles and then sat by a waterfall for about an hour and a half and just relaxed and soaked up the sun. I really enjoy my job and I am truly happy with where I am right now – for the first time in a long time I actually am enjoying myself. I feel like I have a lot of time on my hands, but at the same time I have been super busy with work. I haven’t really gotten into a new campus ministry yet, but I feel like I don’t have the time to be so involved with any organization right now. I have been thinking about just taking a break from everything and focusing on just school and work. I feel hypocritical going to church and playing the Christian girl when I am not living it out and I am learning new things about myself and what I believe… So I am taking this time to figure it out. It’s been something I have been wrestling with for a little while now, but to be completely honest I have finally learned to let go. I have been holding onto a lot of things lately, things that I don’t need to hold on to, but even though letting go of these things was hard and at times difficult the end result fells right. I understand when people say don’t listen to your heart or follow what you think is right, but at the same time it makes no sense to me. I usually follow my heart and I usually do what I think feels right, and I am almost always certain about it. It is something I am working on and trying to learn more about, but at the same time it’s not my main concern. Right now I have to get back to writing a paper for my History class, but I felt the need to share what’s going on in my life because I have been pushing a lot of people away lately, so no one really knows what’s going on.
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