I don’t know where I am going or what I am running to, but I wish it would all just stop and go away. I have been playing this game for way too long, but now that I forgot the rules I am ready to quit. I don’t know how I feel or what my thoughts are but I want to get whatever weight is on my chest off. I wish I had a time capsule because I would go back to the day I met you and do everything I could to get away…because life was so much easier before you came into it. I thought you would be here forever, but looking back I wonder if you were ever here to begin with – or did I just make up everything I felt to tell myself that I was living for something greater than myself. Now looking back I want to live life how I want to live it, but according to certain people that would be me being selfish with my life so I guess I’ll see what happens next. As for now, I am running in a circle looking for something, but I have no idea what that something is. I don’t know my thoughts, my feelings, or where I stand, but I hope it all comes to me soon because I am getting tired of pretending. I guess I will disappear from reality for a bit and step away from life until I gather my thoughts and figure life out.
For an ending thought: Being completely honest and raw is the one thing I am going to always work towards… so you can take what I say or leave it. Something that I would like to say is that people can give someone as much advice as they would like, but that doesn’t always mean your advice will be taken and there is nothing you can do or say to change someone else’s heart.
"I want to put my hope in Jesus and pray that in the WAITING He would refine me, that He would make me pure as gold. "
ReplyDeleteWAIT for the Lord's help.
Be strong and brave,
and WAIT for the Lord's help (Psalm 27:14)
I WAIT for the Lord to help me,
and I trust his word. (Psalm 130:5)