Tonight.

"I wish you were here to hold my hand

To pull me near and tell me it’s all in the plan

Comfort me when my heart grows weak

Pick me up when I fall to my knees

Hold me tight when I cannot control

The tears that roll all the way down to the floor"

My heart feels distraught tonight, like there’s something that needs to be said. There are millions of “things” running through my head and not one of them will slow down long enough for me to grasp the whole “idea” of what it is that is on my mind. You see, I feel different emotions from each thing I think about and it confuses me sometimes. I am all together extremely happy right now, but when I think about each thought alone, and not as a “whole,” I become sad and a little unpleased. Some thoughts… I am unhappy being in VA right now and there is nothing more I would want than to pack up and leave. I was born into a family I am almost certain I was not supposed to be a part of and it kills me inside to know that I am related to these people. I can’t stand religion right now because of what it does to people – in my opinion it ruins them. I feel disgusted with myself because I can’t stand up and say what I really think to certain people about issues that are actually important. And finally, I feel so awkward talking to old friends who I used to run to because I feel like they have totally left my life and could care less.

"What happened to me and you I just don’t know

It’s like you pushed me to the curb

Made me take the blow

You told me you would never leave my side

You said you would be there all the time

…But I guess you lied"

I