Expectations.

There are so many expectations. People are always expecting you to do this or to do that; to be this way or act that way. You know, I’ve been experiencing a lot of this lately and I realized that I physically cannot meet everyone’s expectations. I cannot please every person I meet by being the person they want me to be. As they throw their “words of wisdom” on me and give me advice on how to live my life, all I can do is sit back and think to myself “who are you to tell me these things?” I have had the best moments of my life this semester and it’s because I have finally stopped listening to everyone’s expectations. I have pushed the weight of all the words thrown on me to the side and have finally learned to think for myself and live the life I want to live, the one life I’ve been given. I give off as much love as I can and I do the best I can do with the circumstances that stand in front of me each day, and if that’s not enough for people, I don’t know what is. For months, I have felt so guilty doing my own thing because so many people were disappointed in me and for so many people I didn’t meet their “expectations,” but in all honesty I can’t do it. I can put on an act for you and pretend to be the person you want me to be, but at the end of the day I come home and wipe it all off. I take of the layers of make-up that hide my true self from everyone’s expectations and it exhausts me. There is so much pressure that surrounds every one of us; pressure to achieve the highest grades in school, pressure to be beautiful, pressure to be “in” with the crowd, pressure to stand out, pressure to be this way or that way, pressure to be someone you’re not. We shouldn’t have to mold ourselves to fit everyone else’s expectations of what they want us to be. So many times I hear people talking about how they absolutely hate “fake” people, but at the same time they judge and ridicule people for who they really are and that causes us to slowly mold into what they want us to be. I guess I’m just a little frustrated with the world’s expectations for me. I tried to hold it up on a silver palate and I tried my best to be that person they wanted me to be, but after a while it broke me down. I don’t like pretending to please people. If you’re disappointed because you expect more out of me, keep it to yourself because I’m not going to change for you.