Do you love yourself more than you love God?

We’re all doing the same thing; every one of us who is living on this earth, we all just do it differently. I guess you can call it a game. I like to call it a scavenger hunt or maybe even a treasure hunt, either way; it’s a game of some sort. You see, in this game we search for something that can fill us up. We search to fill our deepest desires and finally when we get them, we search some more for something bigger and better because in our eyes there is always more; there is always something better. But when looking at Christians, or maybe I should say “Christians”, we know that God fills all our desires. We KNOW this, but not necessarily believe it. We KNOW that God is love. We KNOW a lot of relative information and a lot of different things about God and what we should and shouldn’t do. So if we know these things, than why do we pursue other things? Why do we push for things that aren’t necessarily pleasing to God; maybe because it’s pleasing to you? You know, I once heard that where your desires are, well, that’s where your heart is all well. In a simpler text, what you chase and dream for, well that’s what you really want in life. If you are running towards and putting all your energy in wanting to make money and get rich, than all your focus is on that, so where does God lie in that scenario? Well, He doesn’t. So how about this… What is it that you desire, chase, dream of or put all your focus on? Maybe a better question is: What is it that you are putting in front of God? Is it a relationship? Are you chasing dreams that you feel in the back of your mind aren’t in God’s plans, but you do them anyways? Or maybe you’re asking God to bless your decisions because it is what YOU want instead of what HE wants for you. Maybe you think in the end He will be “okay” with your decision, but deep inside you know it’s going against everything He is telling you to do with your life. You feel that there is that “something” in the bottom of your heart that tells you “no, don’t do it”, but because of your prideful and stubborn you do it out of spite and out of your own liking. Deep inside you have a feeling that something isn’t right, but you believe that overtime that feeling will slowly disappear and you hope that soon all your thoughts and feelings will drift away and you will soon forget. I think you love yourself and love your life more than you love and trust in the life God has planned for you. Maybe you want to forget because you are so freaking scared, so terrified that what you are doing with your life will not satisfy you in the end. You’re scared to trust in God because deep down you don’t really believe He is good for you; maybe you think your plan is better. I mean you only live once, why take the risk? But you see, now that you’re running away from God instead of just sitting quietly and listening for one minute you catch yourself becoming tired. You’re becoming rundown and you start to doubt and question yourself and you can’t figure out where this whole “funk” came from. You start to realize that all those feelings you thought disappeared never really went away to the land of far away, but rather were just pushed to the side, so now they sit in front of you and you’re still questioning. Maybe before you get to that stage you should just think. What is it that I am putting in front of God? What is it that I feel like I need in my life, when God clearly tells me that I don’t need anything but Him?