So never in my life have I gotten a hate letter before but there is always a first for everything, right? I would have never pictured myself as a “bad” person, but today I kind of got slapped in the face with how “bad” of a person I actually am. I guess you can say I have hurt more people this past year than I ever thought. I have put myself before anyone and anything and made sure I was happy before other people were. I guess you can call it “selfish” and so that’s what I’ve been. I’ve been selfish. Today when I got my first hate letter the first thing that I did was get defensive and push it to the side like nothing happened. Now, I am sitting in class realizing how much I hurt this person without even realizing it. I wanted to make myself happy so I did what I wanted and didn’t really think of the consequences behind my actions. I blamed my actions on everything but myself and claimed that it wasn’t “me” in control. In all honesty, it was my fault and only my fault. I made this situation happen and there is no one I can blame but myself. I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on this. I don’t like hurting people and I don’t like knowing people are disappointed in me – it’s the worst thing anyone could ever tell me, that they’re disappointed. And today because someone wasn’t afraid to stand up to me and tell me how much I am hurting other people and myself, I was able to realize this. So I just wanted to say “I’m sorry.” Sorry for hurting the ones I love the most. I haven’t said that word in a long time, “love”. I stopped saying it because I didn’t mean it, but now I do.
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