its been a long, long time...

I see wandering eyes and drifting souls

Aimlessly floating from destination to destination

No real intent on where they’re going

No real purpose being fulfilled

I see the weight on their shoulders

Holding them down to this earth

Burdens so heavy

They feel it’s impossible to be set free

I see trembling legs fighting to keep moving

Collapsing knees and broken dreams

Desperate cries buried by the silence of their pain

Silence so loud it kills

Hopeless dreams is what they feel

Hopeful prayers are all I can offer

No time can render their hurt

That’s how they feel

Death is nothing to you

You linger around for me on each street corner awaiting my fall. You send storms to flood my path in hopes that the heavy downpour sweeps me off my feet. Oh, your deceitful ways pull me near and only you can scare me away from who you tell me I am inside. Who am I deep inside? I walk drenched in the sweat from the strength it takes for me to run away from your ways. I feel my limbs grow weary the further I run and I can see myself sinking into the dark waters without shore. I sink so deep; my lungs cry out for air, but the weight of my heart continues to pull me down. The bottom of this ocean is dark and lonely; a painful, never-ending ride. My lungs are compressed and the pressure of life and death now lies upon my soul. Who is there to save me now when not a speck of light nor breath of air can make way to me? Who is it whom I prayed to when not a sound is heard or a presence felt? The memorized lines of rehearsed versus can flash through my head a million times, but the thought of death is nothing to you, you who awaits my fall. Oh, my lungs cannot contain the pain they feel; the breath of life or death is very near.

Words rush out of your mouth and pound the ground

Collapsing into nothing, sliding down the cracks

Into a world where misleading words live

For every girl who believed in the lies

For every girl who even tried

To be something they’re not

Molding into the expectations of the world

Was something simply too hard to try

Let it go and begin again

It’s not too late to live again

Open your eyes and see this world

It’s got nothing to bring you in the end

Diminishing things we like to bring

To the table to raise the bar

Of what people think we are

Reputations we attempt to uphold

Only sink our boats and wreck our world

Open your hands and accept the fact

That the lies you believed are lessons learned

Beloved take this vow and run with it

Look to the heavens and hold onto it

Where the clouds meet the blue sky

That’s where your promise lies

Surrender Saved My Life

I have had enough,
buying ashes with my love
I don't need this
I'm pursuing counterfeit
I'm worth so much more than this
I don't need it
I don't need it

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
My flag is turning white
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
I need Your hope tonight
For the first time
For the first time
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Surrender saved my life

When will all this end?
Must I open up again?
I don't need this
Healing hurts a little more
But I'll be stronger than before
Yeah, I need this
I know I need this

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
My flag is turning white
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
I need Your hope tonight
For the first time
For the first time
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Surrender saved my life

Keep my eyes focused
You are the long run
Keep my eyes focused
You are the long run
Keep my eyes focused
You are the long run
There's no time for giving up
We'll make it
We'll make it

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
My flag is turning white
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
I need Your hope tonight
For the first time
For the first time
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Surrender saved my life
It saved my life

I am honestly broken...

We were friends. I opened up to you and let you into my life without a doubt in my mind that you would be there for me always. You took my hand and told me you would ALWAYS be there no matter what and I believed you. But...you put on a mask for me. You made yourself everything I imagined a friend should be. You rehearsed your lines and played your cards right – I could never tell you were bluffing throughout this game. I entrusted you with valuable information and you knew where I stood in life. You took that information so valuable and threw it away. The friendship you so called “valued” went out the window when you found that there was “more” to offer. You so selfishly threw it away when you knew the whole time how I felt. You burned a bride I thought would forever uphold the weight of our friendship and you soaked it in kerosene and put a match to it. I can honestly say I have never been so hurt in my whole entire life. You were the last person I thought would go behind my back and base our friendship off lies. I don’t even know who you are… I’m walking away not mad, but disappointed and broken. The door to this “friendship” is forever closed and I no longer want anything to do with you. I’m sorry to the people who warned me about you- for ignoring them and going off of what I thought made the most sense to me because I was wrong. I was very wrong.

Ben Harper - Walk Away

Oh no - here comes that sun again
that means another day
without you my friend

And it hurts me
to look into the mirror at myself
and it hurts even more
to have to be with somebody else
and it's so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
walk away

With so many people
to love in my life
why do I worry
about one

But you put the happy
in my ness
you put the good times
into my fun
and it's so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
walk away
and head for the door

We've tried the goodbye
so many days
we walk in the same direction
so that we could never stray
they say if you love somebody
than you have got to set them free
but I would rather be locked to you
than live in this pain and misery

They say time will
make all this go away
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows
and turned them into yesterdays
and once again that rising sun
is dropping on down
and once again you my friend
are nowhere to be found
and it's so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
walk away
and head for the door
you just walk away
walk away

Day seven - A picture of the person you do the most crazy things with

Anytime Mike and I get together its always crazy <3